Friday, January 07, 2005

Stop and Smell the roses

Every artist has a perfect moment, when the mood is just right, the lighting is just perfect, the music is exactly in sync and in tune and if everything could stand still in that one moment, it would be saved, captured and preserved through the artist's medium of choice - paint, film, ink, pencil...

I had a perfect hour earlier today, or so it seemed. I had just come out of the subway at City Hall. I turned right and there it was. The scene seemed to stop for one long second. It was drizzling slightly. The street lights were on, but in perfect contrast with the dwindling daylight. I heard nothing but quiet for split second. Then I heard everything. I saw everthing, smelled everything. I feared nothing. The three projects I had on my desk did not exist. For a moment, life was good. I thought, strangely to myself, If I died now, it wouldn't be a bad time to go.

It all ended when an hour later, the deli guy charged me 2 dollars for a cup of coffee.

J.T

Thursday, January 06, 2005

One for the little guy

I gotta say, every once in a while, the sun shines on the little guy. Therefore, a little exclamation of "ha ha" escaped from my mouth when I saw this story about the disgruntled Apple customer suing Apple over their restrictions on the AAC music format.

Don't get me wrong, I love Apple as much as the next guy, but that little issue always bugged me.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Melancholy

It might have had a little to do with my bank account balance, which I saw on my ATM receipt this morning, or maybe that had nothing to do with it. Either way, my day which started out as a day I had taken off for a little me time turned sour.

I love movies, real well written movies that make you feel satisfied that you just watched them. Ergo, I loved spanglish. It's well written, just long enough. And yet, as happens occasionally to me when I watch these movies, I got sour after watching it. It had nothing to do with the movie and I suspect everything to do with me.

Aside from the occasional outing, movies are my escape. They are the last vestige of my artistic side I still try to keep a connection to, for reasons as yet beyond me ( Refer to previous posting). I used to write. A lot. Poetry, Novels. I used to sketch - a lot. I love languages. I dabble with spanish and a little french. As it is currently my only escape, I get a little withdrawal anxiety once its over. I wish I could continue to live in the movie, in someone else's life for a while and put mine on hold, or hibernation in computer parlance.

While it is not always recommended I'm sure, I decided to take a chance at a little self analysis, as this was not the first time I felt this way. The first thing that comes across quite obviously is that if I don't want to come back to my own life, it must suck intensely. Not so. It leaves a lot to be desired, no doubt, but there is also a lot good about it. Of course, this could all be denial. More on that, maybe a little later. I'm still not convinced that people I know won't be reading this blog.

The second thing I zero in on is that one of the characters in the movie is a lot like me. He's a professional Chef, an all around good guy finally living in his dream jobscape. But his personal life.. not so great. We are un-alike if there is such a word in the sense that I cook for fun and dabble with computers for a living, but I would love to have a restaurant, preferrably just like his one day. Unfortunately, while his personal life could be great - he's married, two sweet kids, - it's just not. Watch the entire movie and you get an answer to why his is not so great.

Now I just wish I saw the script of my life and knew about mine. As yet, I'm not sure my blog postings are making any sense, but stay with me, I might start figuring this all out soon enough.

J.T.